No more self pitty.

I laid my son down for his afternoon nap.

I put my daughter in her bouncer and brought her into my room.

I started my workout DVD. (without putting a sport bra on first, and thought I would be okay.)

After the warmup I realized I wasn't okay, I needed the sports bra. So while I was jumping in place I put my bra on and ditched the shirt. I didn't wanna miss out on my workout, I was feeling pretty good.

Half way through the workout, while doing a plank, I glanced down and saw my stomach. I hated myself. And I had my first break down in a long time..

It was so ugly. Disgusting. And I hated the person I have become. I started thinking about how I got this way. Why did I let myself "go." Who am I?

I don't recognize the person I see in the mirror. I have a closet full of clothes I have not worn in years. And I just don't like who I am physically. I hate it.

Then I cried. And cried.

After that was done, I got up..back tracked on the DVD, and started with my planks again. If I don't like who I am, the only person that can fix it is ME. And tears are not going to get me anywhere.

I am the one that has to undo what I did to myself. I have to stay motivated. Eat the right food, and stop with the crap. And stay off my ass and keep working for what I want.

I know how to get back to where I was. I got there the first time, and I can do it again.